How to Feel Sexy + Confident at Any Age

I am a firm believer that no matter our age, we owe it to ourselves to feel sexy and confident in our own skin, which I know is also easier said than done. We live in an age where social media can create unrealistic standards for how we should look, or feel, or even take care of ourselves.

With the pressure to look a certain way almost stronger than ever, it can be incredibly hard to feel like we’re living up to the expectations that we feel society holds for us. And as women, it can even harder when we’re juggling being moms, business owners, wives, creators, etc.

Now that I’m 40, I’ll be the first to admit that my body isn’t the same as it was when I was in my 20’s – and THAT IS OKAY! There is nothing wrong with your body changing overtime, and in fact, that is a beautiful thing. We are meant to experience growth in this lifetime, in all forms that we possibly can. If we aren’t growing, then we aren’t experiencing life to its fullest potential, and furthermore, we’re discrediting how much of a blessing it is to be able to grow and have a longer life than many people have.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve recognized that, while there are parts of my body that have changed, it’s not for the worse. I am stronger than I’ve ever been, more confident than I’ve ever been, and HAPPIER in my skin than I’ve ever been! And if this isn’t the case for you, then I promise, with a little intention, it absolutely can be.

Of course, with all of these outside circumstances weighing on us in different ways, feeling sexy and confident at any age is easier said than done. It’s more than just waking up and repeating affirmations to yourself in the mirror; while affirmations can be a great practice to incorporate into your daily routine, it isn’t a one-and-done step to loving yourself in the way that you deserve.

And self-love really is the basis for feeling sexy and confident at any age. So needless to say, your self-care practice(s) should be ones that can grow with you, no matter what season of life you’re in or what the internet may be telling you.

In this post, I’ll be sharing a few different self-care practices that have helped me to feel sexy and confident in my own skin, no matter what age I am. As I grow I know that these practices will be able to grow with me, and I hope they’re ones that will be able to grow with you, too!

No. 1 – Buy some underwear that makes you feel cute AND comfortable!

I don’t know about you, but my mama always told me that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Sure, this applied to judging people based on their personalities and not just on their appearance, but hey, it counts here too! Having a nice pair of underwear that makes you feel cute AND comfortable can be the difference between feeling confident or not. I recently have invested in a few underwear sets by ARQ and they have CHANGED THE GAME for me.

I heard about ARQ from a friend of mine, and recently discovered that they have an incredibly dedicated following of people who collect all of their beautiful colors. If you go onto their site, you may notice that their sets are rather pricy, and yes, they are much pricier than traditional underwear. But they are ethically and sustainably made in the USA, and really are the best out there.

Their underwear and bralettes are so comfortable and super flattering on all body types. And if you take care of them properly, they’ll last for years. I highly recommend investing in a set or two if you can, because once you go ARQ, you won’t want to go back!

No. 2 – Have an orgasm… or two… or three!

No, seriously, have an orgasm. Aside from being incredibly fun, they’re also healthy for you- research shows that regular orgasms can relieve stress, boost your immunity, lighten your mood, increase your focus, and help you foster better relationships with others. I fully believe that sex, masturbation, and orgasms aren’t topics that should be taboo; everyone has sex in some way, and it’s totally normal to enjoy it!

And sexual care = self-care. While having fun with a partner is a great way to tap into all of these amazing orgasmic benefits, some solo play can be just as fun. In other words, ladies, get yourself a vibrator and thank me later.

My favorite vibrator by a landslide is the Maude “Vibe”. With hundreds of thousands of 5-star reviews, this vibrator takes the cake. It’s beautifully designed, looks discreet, has three unique settings, is USB rechargeable, travel-friendly, waterproof… shall I go on? And at $45, it’s pretty affordable, as vibrators go. Take my word for it, this vibrator is equally as fun with a partner as it is solo. It really can’t be beat!

No. 3 – Get ready every day!

I know what you’re thinking… with a busy schedule it’s so much easier to just throw on sweatpants and go about your day, especially if you aren’t seeing anyone. If this is you, then I have a question for you: why are we getting ready for other people?!

As vain as it may sound, I truly believe that when we look better, we feel better, and by putting in some extra effort to get ready in the mornings, we can take a small step towards feeling better. Even if all you have is 20 minutes to quickly tame your hair and/or slap some makeup on, its better than nothing!

Do yourself up in a way that make you feel sexy, even if you don’t have anywhere to go. It will help boost your confidence and give you an extra pep in your step as you move about your day.

No. 4 – Do workouts that that makes you feel sexy and strong!

If you’ve followed me for a while, then you probably know that I love my workouts. Whether I’m boxing, running, or taking a class at Barry’s Bootcamp, I rarely ever skip a workout- and if I do, I’m not too happy about it. This isn’t necessarily for vanity reasons, but because I’ve recognized that I feel really goof when I prioritize my workouts. It boosts my mood, which, in turn, boosts my confidence. And in the words of my girl, Elle Woods, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” By starting my days off with my workouts and my me-time, I’m able to move throughout my day feeling more confident in my skin.

But if workouts aren’t your jam, that’s totally okay! Find a practice that makes you feel just as good. If it’s meditation, start incorporating a meditation routine. If it’s baths, then take a bath daily. Whatever it is that brings you joy, do more of that, and watch how your emotions adjust to meet joy!

No matter what you decide to incorporate into your life, I hope that you move through your days feeling sexy and confident in your own skin, because you deserve it! If you decide to try out any of these practices (or pick up any of the products mentioned in this post), share your experience on Instagram and tag me @kalejunkie so I can hype you up! xx